Photoset

writtenrage:

this made me really happy

(Source: tastefullyoffensive, via moonblossom)

Text

strangership:

kiriamaya:

beahbeah:

so i feel like i should tell you guys that i’ve found the formula for a perfect and incontrovertible insult:

[adverb][adjective][expletive][noun]

examples:

you perfectly rectangular shitbowl!
you obscenely lamentable assbasket!
you fantastically nauseating dicksoiree!

go forth and blaspheme

I am laughing so hard.

Suddenly everything is beautiful.

DICKSOIREE. Sounds like my kind of party.

(via bootsnblossoms)

Photo
stunningpicture:

If you’re picky about cosplaying your body type, then you’ll love this guy!

Just a flesh wound?

stunningpicture:

If you’re picky about cosplaying your body type, then you’ll love this guy!

Just a flesh wound?

(via thescienceofjohnlock)

Quote
"You’re born with a ton of fucks to give, so you spend them like a kid with a credit card. You give fucks about your friends, about your grades, about your fashion sense, about strangers’ opinions. You give way too many fucks about way too many things. You have so many. Then, as you get older, you have maybe 10 fucks per month, so you learn to budget them. You allocate fucks to family and career, but there aren’t enough fucks to give to the newest fads. Oh, someone at work has something they need my help with that’s outside my job title? I’ll do my best to allocate some fucks, but this month is pretty tight. Then, as you get even older, you’re down to 1-2 fucks per month, and those fucks are pretty damn precious. You give them to your family and your hobbies and your job, and that’s kinda it. It’s not your fault – fucks expire too quickly. I would’ve liked to save my fucks from when I was younger but I can’t. Then, you hit fuck insolvency. You’re getting like 1 fuck a year, and you have to make it last. So you go without, and even previously fuck-worthy things, you just can’t give a fuck. Some people run out really quickly, Some people have a fuck trust fund that pays out a decent amount even into old age. But at some point, the fuck faucet runs completely dry and you’re out of fucks to give. It’s just basic Fuckonomics."

-Unknown English Teacher (via swarthyvillain)

I’ve never read anything more fucking true in my whole fucking life. 

Fuck.

(via unicornempire)

I actually really love this analogy.

(via wincherella)

This is the best explanation I can find for what happened when I turned 30.

(via mymissus)

(via forsciencejohn)

Photo
howigotthrunursingschool:

semiotickitten:

apiratenhisprincess:

4ngelo:

theodorepython:

miami-tea:


The Defibrillator Toaster
My mom would be so annoyed… every morning I would run into the kitchen screaming “WE’RE LOSING THEM!!! BEEP BEEP BEEPBEEPBEEP!”
“DON’T YOU DIE ON ME, DAMNIT!!!  NURSE, WE NEED 12 CC’S OF CREAM CHEESE, STAT!!!”
He’s bread, Jim.
Time of deliciousness: 7:15 A.M
If we don’t restart his heart , he’s toast! 
JESUS CRUST.
JAM IT!
“Daddy’s in a butter place now, kids.”

I WASN’T EVEN GOING TO REBLOG UNTIL I SAW THE SHIT TON OF PUNS

HES BREAD JIM

JESUS CRUST

To pay my respects, Ill be sure to place a flour on his grave.

I need this.

All of these comments!!! HAHAHAHA!!

I need this desperately.

howigotthrunursingschool:

semiotickitten:

apiratenhisprincess:

4ngelo:

theodorepython:

miami-tea:

The Defibrillator Toaster

My mom would be so annoyed… every morning I would run into the kitchen screaming “WE’RE LOSING THEM!!! BEEP BEEP BEEPBEEPBEEP!”

“DON’T YOU DIE ON ME, DAMNIT!!!  NURSE, WE NEED 12 CC’S OF CREAM CHEESE, STAT!!!”

He’s bread, Jim.

Time of deliciousness: 7:15 A.M

If we don’t restart his heart , he’s toast! 

JESUS CRUST.

JAM IT!

“Daddy’s in a butter place now, kids.”

I WASN’T EVEN GOING TO REBLOG UNTIL I SAW THE SHIT TON OF PUNS

HES BREAD JIM

JESUS CRUST

To pay my respects, Ill be sure to place a flour on his grave.

I need this.

All of these comments!!! HAHAHAHA!!

I need this desperately.

(Source: secretsbest, via nursingisinmyblood)

Text

rodham-clinton:

really all you need to know about the american health care system is that there’s a popular tv series where a man turns to cooking industrial quantities of crystal meth in order to pay his hospital bills

tru

(via msaether)

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apathyhasrainedonme:

ragincontagion:

Insert witty caption here

I believe… That Jesus just contaminated the sterile field

apathyhasrainedonme:

ragincontagion:

Insert witty caption here

I believe… That Jesus just contaminated the sterile field

(via nursingisinmyblood)

Photoset

medicalstate:

Tapeworm parasitic infection following daily sashimi diet for years.

The initial complaint this Chinese man presented with were a stomach ache and itchy skin. After further testing, the doctors came to the discovery that his body had been completely invaded with tapeworm parasites. 

The encysted larvae were embedded deep within the man’s tissues, save for his brain, which would have resulted in the more serious complication of neurocysticercosis.

This man turned out to be an avid sushi eater and ate raw sashimi on an almost daily basis for years. 

WICKED

(Source: Daily Mail, via nursingisinmyblood)

Photoset

when i find myself in times of trouble
remus lupin comes to me
speaking words of wisdom

(Source: voldermorte, via kriskenshin)

Quote
"

But then, the truth was never really the point. Thin women don’t tell their fat friends ‘You’re not fat’ because they’re confused about the dictionary definition of the word, or their eyes are broken, or they were raised on planets where size 24 is the average for women. They don’t say it because it’s the truth. They say it because fat does not mean just fat in this culture. It can also mean any or all of the following:

Ugly
Unhealthy
Smelly
Lazy
Ignorant
Undisciplined
Unlovable
Burdensome
Embarrassing
Unfashionable
Mean
Angry
Socially inept
Just plain icky

So when they say ‘You’re not fat,’ what they really mean is ‘You’re not a dozen nasty things I associate with the word fat.’ The size of your body is not what’s in question; a tape measure or a mirror could solve that dispute. What’s in question is your goodness, your lovability, your intelligence, your kindness, your attractiveness. And your friends, not surprisingly, are inclined to believe you get high marks in all those categories. Ergo, you couldn’t possibly be fat.

"

— Kate Harding (via annecarsons)

(Source: catholicaramis, via graceebooks)